Unshakeable strengths - how to be the main character
TLDR
Know what you’re best at
Apply your unshakeable strengths to everything
Congrats, you’re now drenched in confidence
Do you know what you’re best at?
So often systems point out failures. I don’t remember all the good report cards, but I do remember failing out of calculus three times and only through a warped pandemic miracle did I graduate once it became a pass/fail situation.
And the failures are what seem to stay with us the most. Here’s a sample of my inner dialogue from today (and yes, I’m in therapy).
I need to be more thorough. I lack self-discipline. I’m too quick to speak and need to listen more. I take too much in my relationship.
Feedback from years of report cards, ugly breakups, and career evaluations are hard to ignore, and these “flaws” have the power to completely hide the good things. My inner dialogue reveals things I can learn and improve, but what are the positive things so ingrained in me that it would be hard to unlearn them?
What are your unshakeable strengths?
Three years ago I started working as a scrum master for a major telecommunications company. I didn’t know a thing about software development or cable networks, but armed with the advice of my mother who told me all skills are transferable, I knew that I could figure it out. The first year was greuling. It seemed no matter how many articles I read or people I talked to, no amount of training seemed to be sinking in. What’s more, Keith and I had just moved to a new city and we were navigating all the changes that came with that as well.
Somewhere along the way I decided what would get me through this time would be leaning hard core into the good things about myself, and working around the rest, hypothesizing that if my strengths are so strong the other things could be overlooked or improved over time.
After a lot of reflecting I setted on some key things.
Nothing is so serious that there cannot be joy
There’s always more than one way of doing something
People are the most important thing in this world
If when you’re identifying your unshakeable traits and you look back on a period of time and can’t remember life without those, you’re onto something.
Apply your unshakeable traits to everything.
Many young professionals say “Maybe I should work in x instead”. It’s a unique struggle in the professional world to find a sense of place. It’s natural to take inventory of what you’re doing in your current job and wonder if you should be applying yourself to somewhere else entirely instead. You can ask Keith how many times I’ve asked him if I should drop everything and become a private investigator instead.
This career meandering can be a worthwhile exercise, but there’s power in applying your unshakeable strengths exactly where you are. How do you bring compassion and humanity to your job as a product owner? What does that look like? How do you bring humor and creativity to your job in project management?
When I’m stuck in the weeds at work doing a task that isn’t intuitive for me, I’m finding a different way of getting the same result, or maybe a different result is actually better. That’s my creativity. Maybe my work has taken my time and attention and I don’t feel as connected to my person. My love of people shows up and I ask him “What’s something I can do this week to make you feel loved?” And I’m finding things to laugh about along the way, because humor is the best diffuser.
When you know your unshakeable strengths, and you think about how to apply them where you are, you may find your outlook and job satisfaction looking up.
Confidence is knowing nobody can deny your unshakeable strengths.
When you own your unshakeable strengths, you develop a confidence that can’t be broken.
Recently, a group of friends and I went to dinner and then went dancing afterward. I knew this group of ladies would dress to impress and I spent a lot of time agonizing over what to wear. I spent hours shopping for something that would strike the appropriate balance of sexy-but-still-age-appropriate and not-too-attention-seeking-because-I’m-married. In the end I opted for a dress that made me feel pretty and decided that that was the energy I wanted to bring to the night. Insecurity was not the vibe.
Although conservatively dressed, I had the best night at the clerb, and it was satisfying to catch the brief glimpses of surprise when cute strangers wanted to buy me drinks and other friend groups wanted to dance with me. The unshakeable strength I brought to that night was my determination to enjoy the people around me and have a good time, and that energy was infectious. I only wish I hadn’t spent the entire afternoon agonizing over my appearance. It never matters anyway, because people aren’t going to care what my dress looks like. They’ll remember how we sang-screamed to the line, “WHY ARE YOU MY REMEDY?”
The next time you’re sing-screaming that line, know that YOU are your own remedy. And if you need a little assistance along the way, I know someone who loves people ;)
TLDR, you are the main character.
Know what you’re best at
Apply your unshakeable strengths to everything
Congrats, you’re now drenched in confidence
